The sun has disappeared for weeks now. I woke up today feeling the need to write but I felt so uninspired by the weather and the dark clouds circling around my apartment. The rain on my window glass. The only consolation was a warm kitty on my lap with an occasional chance of some nails buried in my skin. When I shot these images I knew I was going to be in a bit of an analog mood. Amsterdam enveloped by clouds. It seems never-ending.
After last weekend, which was intense I’ve been processing business and trying to be creative as possible. The day after the weekend I haven’t been feeling really great but today I somehow woke up with the most vivid dreams and felt inspired by them. I’ve written about achieving goals before and how hard it sometimes is. People are proud of their succes and like to show it but I’m more intrigued by their road to succes.
The winter was very mild. I remember the mornings turning fresher but there was a lot of sun that warmed the earth and there was rain. Days of rain. But it was never entirely cold. I had worked from out my apartment for days, months. I lost time and yet I knew exactly what I was working on. Sometimes the things we work on don’t always give result immediately so I told myself I’m doing this for the long run.
I collaborated with TheModeCode. They have published my images on their website so go check them out here. Hopefully you like them as much as I do.
Just before the fifth of December me and my dear friend Mieke went to spread peace and awareness. It wasn’t about spreading negativity but being there for people.
My sister went through an intense operation and lived with my mum for a while until she felt stronger. My mum had to work over the day, leaving my sister alone. She thought she’d do well but she didn’t and fainted. It was hard for her and my mother called me to take care of her.
I took Yoko with me in her travel box. Since I’ve taken her to my mother’s place occasionally she got used to the travel. We’d taken the tram home as I realized I had forgotten about my card so I wanted to pay for a ticket instead when the man who sold the tickets recognized me and told me I could just sit down without. I looked at him with gratitude. I remember him so well. Not that I really did know the guy, he was my brother’s friend who came to our house when they were younger. I’ve always known he had something beautiful around him.
Then he also saved me from the people who were checking tickets & cards of the passengers.
Being with my sister made me think about our youth. We had two bedrooms close to each other and we always wanted to sleep in the same room during the night and talk all night and mostly stealing treats. We would sneak down to the pantry downstairs and steal. The only reason my sister would take me was that now she had a witness and carried guilt for 50%.
After our adventure in the tram me and Yoko watched movies with my sister. My sister would alert me, my mum had chocolates somewhere. We ate two or three chocolates until we got a little sick and watched the whole afternoon movies.
When my mum came back to change for another night with her friends we tried to hide our guilt. She went out of the door and in for three times and we had taken the chocolates again already after the second time and when she entered we quickly hid it underneath the covers. We couldn’t stop laughing, looking suspicious I told my mum she looked very beautiful. And somehow she saw what we were hiding and got mad at us.
Moments later my mother had taken the chocolates into her car and stood still on the road in the street. Sending messages to her friends. She was eating the chocolates too now. My sister and I had decided to go for a walk with the dog Kara and we came up with a childish plan to steal away the chocolates from mum. I distract, you get the chocolates. Of course we didn’t succeed but that wasn’t the point really.
The day of my birthday.
I woke up late cause I stayed up until midnight. (Because I think more at night.) It started bright but became gloomy althrough the day. I spent most of the day with A. watching our favorite sci-fi serie (Doctor Who). I had dinner with my dad. We chat a little bit during the delicious food we ate. After dinner I met with my cousin Naomi. We spent the evening dancing and singing along to Florence and the Machine. My all time addiction. The year I became 18 I had a concert two days before my birthday where I had watched Paramore. It got a little tradition to see concerts once in a while around my birthday. Florence sang so beautifully. She dances pretty goofy but it looks cool when she does it.
On christmas eve me and Yoko went to my mother’s place for a warm dinner with family.
My cousin stayed with her upstairs mostly because there were two dogs downstairs that were a bit too much for her. Brenda fed Yoko nice treats. (Which Yoko was my cousin very grateful of, haha)
On christmas day me and my sister went on a boat tour on the canals of Amsterdam to see some of the light festival. You should have seen how beautiful it was. The theme was friendship and I liked how artists from all over the world came to show off their wonderful art.
On the second day of christmas (cause we have that in the Netherlands) we went off to see my dad’s family. And of course Yoko and Kara joined the party. My sister and me had shopped for a lot of food. Prepared delicious meals for our family.
Some where in the late evening they had opened the garden door a little, for fresh air. Unlucky for me, Yoko had seen it too. She escaped into the dark and left me stirring with panic. I looked for her everywhere in the house first, while the boys already got outside. Then I realized she was outside and I jumped over the small fence from the garden further into the village. My youngest brother ran to me said he’d seen her. I came to him to look for her where he claimed he’d seen her into some bushes but she had run away already.
Into the night, without mobile phone or flash light I went looking for a small black kitten.
At one point I was beyond myself. Crying, praying, running after every cat that I saw. In every shadow I saw a black cat. After some 40 minutes I went back and they said that she had returned by herself. She was happily climbing in the christmas tree.
All good she had returned and I was relieved.
three weeks before christmas she had fallen out of the window (of two high) and I had panicked that day too. She had a hard time walking for a week and didn’t eat much. After a visit to the vet who assured me there was no permanent damage I could finally breath again.
She is an adventure on its own.