I have decided to do this a little bit different.
This message is written to a friend of mine.
Because she inspires me to write true and honest about my vision on life.
This is for you.
I’m away from what I usually call home and I like the feeling of being away.
I sit in this pink room with only my camera gear and a little bit of clothes.
It feels like a mini-escape of reality and I’m loving it.
I was made for moving. I sing along with the songs that are on.
At the head of my bed there’s a window.
When I look out the window I can see my reflection looking back at me.
It’s dark outside and a few lights are on.
No sounds but the chats of my uncle and his lover.
True & inspiring people that let me in their home to stay.
I feel blessed with a family like mine.
I play solitaire to keep my mind occupied and
it resets the happenings of today but also that are on in my life.
Nothing feels more real than living to the moment of meeting you.
Oh and your long messages are my joy and my soul seems to know yours
The room is hot and the heat makes me sleepy.
The pink walls show patterns and I like to trace them with my fingers
to feel them on the walls.
Tonight I am one with this room. Its atmosphere has sucked me in.
The floor squeaks as I walk upon it.
As if my feet had asked permission to walk on it and the floor replied that its way is granted.
You told me you like the Smiths so I’ve been listening to them to hear the same sounds
you’ve listened too and it makes me feel close to you. Music makes us feel united.
To me, music means everything.
It inspires. It’s giving you advice.
It helped me overcome some of my fears with the greatest euphoria which it truly gives.
I will repeat it again and again.
I am alone in a tower and may my tower be made from the wood of the royal forrest.
This I wrote last night in hours waiting until I heard something from you.
Today I found three letters in the mail and dear I was so happy.
Late at night, far past midnight I opened up my curtains for some fresh air to fill the room,
I could count the stars and thought to myself what your heaven must look like from above.
Are we looking at the same time at the stars?
We will indeed watch the same stars brighten our sky every night.
I felt like staying a little longer from ‘home’ and sleep the night over at my dad’s.
We make lazy jokes and drink tea.
Though your hair is pretty short I think it suits you.
My mother has always asked me to cut my hair when I was young.
So I’ve never had long hair as I’d like to grow this time.
I’ve never had much of a reason to keep my hair long.
It’s not so common for the Dutch to cut their hair after a break-up.
I think it’s something about women that they need to change their appearance
when they’re going through a certain period in life (or they need to close it).
My hair though seems to refuse to grow longer. I hardly do anything with it.
We’ll all manage to grow over a broken heart or we learn to live with it.
I passed the times of being in a broken state because I have learned to forgive.
Though forgiving yourself is the hardest but that’s what most of my advices contains.
Forgive yourself, love yourself, know yourself.
If you’re managed to control these three, you manage to control a lot of your emotions.
I am a writer. And what writers do is writing. No matter how tough situations are.
If I could only write about how wonderful my life would be it’d be boring to read. I can’t handle routine.
I tend to move in circles and reflect on my life too much if I don’t do something new.
What helps me when friendships fall apart or my feelings are hurt I do something that makes me feel good.
(Some women go shopping!) I find fulfillment in change and taking risks.
There’s one thing that always keeps me going when I’m down: is to do something nice for a friend or a total stranger.
Posted on: June 8, 2014
Felt like sharing some pictures with you as from the bottom of my heart.
I loved making these pictures. Irene is a gorgeous and natural beauty.
The day starting out being really sunny and bright but
went darker and darker until the sky came down.
We were in places that didn’t look like the place we are used to.
I like discovering new areas and looking at nearby places through different eyes.
I have been sick with myself, trying to perfectionize myself in photography.
Then I remember what the great difference is between a perfectionist and some one who tries the best one can. One is healthy, the other isn’t.
If you try your best,
that means you’re doing enough.
Posted on: May 17, 2014